


I remember Padmé

by obidalanetwork_archivist



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Incomplete, Movie: Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-08
Updated: 2008-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:35:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26217991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obidalanetwork_archivist/pseuds/obidalanetwork_archivist
Summary: This is the events of Obi-Wan's romance with Padme, starting from the night of the Naboo celebrations.
Kudos: 1
Collections: Obidala Network





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Nadia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Obidala Network](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Obidala_Network) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2020. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Obidala Network’s collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/obidalanetwork/profile).

1 - Comfort

I’ll never forget the first time I met her. For one thing, it was definitely not love at first sight. Underneath all that make up and royal clothing, she did not appeal to me sexually at all. I’ll admit that I was intrigued by her. I mean, there are not many girls her age who would become Queen of a whole planet. She had a mind and a maturity that goes further than many teenage women.

It was when she was dressed as a handmaiden that I found her attractive. Underneath that less glamorous attire, her face lit up and I fell for her brown eyes. I remember Anakin telling me that she looked like an angel and I could not have agreed with him more. When she announced that the handmaiden I fell for was in fact the Queen, I was even more impressed. For one thing, I knew she had her wits about her. I like that in a woman.

I never knew that she felt the same way until that night……

It should have been a glorious night for me. I mean, I had defeated a Sith apprentice and I was entrusted with the care of Anakin, training him to become a Jedi. However, the loss of Qui-Gon was too much to bear. He had been more than my master- he had become the father I never knew. You see, many years ago, when it was time for me to be assigned to a Jedi master to be trained, there was no-one who would be willing to train me. And Qui-Gon had been very reluctant to train after what happened with his past student. But over the years, we became very close and to lose him, well you can imagine.

The Naboo celebrations went on all day and night. During the parade, I smile falsely but deep inside, I was still grieving for the loss of Qui-Gon. I tried to join in the evening celebrations but I just could not bring myself to do it. I had been given special quarters in the Theed Royal Palace for the evening and I spent most of my time there. I tried to sleep but all I could see in my head was the final moments of Qui-Gon’s life. I remembered the whole scene being a pinkish red-colour because of the barrier that had been placed in front of me but it did not make the picture any dimmer. I could still see his face in shock as the lightsabre had been pierced through his body. I could see his face in my arms as he died. I could still feel his fingers softly touching my face and he said his last words to me.

I kept thinking: why was I not quick enough? I could have saved him. If I had been a few seconds quicker, I could have joined him in the battle and he might still be alive. Why was I not quick enough?

After a long and sleepless night, I found the confines of my quarters too claustrophobic to cope with so I moved down the magnificent corridors of the palace trying to think of something, anything to take my mind of what happened. I soon found myself in the royal gardens. It was a magnificent sight. Beautiful flowers were showing underneath the glowing sunrise. I had been to many places but none quite like this. Even now, after so long there has been no place that could match the beauty of this garden. I have only been there once but the smell is strong in my nostrils.

The atmosphere soothed my thoughts and calmed my frustrations. I don’t remember I was there but it seemed like an eternity as I lay in the grass watching the sky changed colour. The colour change was hypnotic as black turned to dark blue and then to orange and then to pink.

I suddenly felt that I was alone in the garden. I slowly took hold of my (no it was actually Qui Gon’s) lightsabre and quickly stood up to face the intruder ready to attack. With my sabre ignited, my blade was covering the intruder’s face but I could see that they did not have a weapon. I lowered my blade a little and saw that the glowing blue face just twenty feet from me was her.

“Mi’lady” I said. I lowered my sabre and de-ignited it. “Why are you up at this early hour?”

She walked up to me and smiled. “I could easily ask you the same thing.”

“I couldn’t sleep” I admitted.

“So it’s true”, she said cheekily, “Jedis never sleep.”

I had no idea if she was trying to be funny but I started laughing anyway. It felt such a relief to be able to laugh amongst the grief and pain I was feeling. And for some reason, it started her laughing as well. Before we knew what was happening, we were in the grass laughing like little children. Eventually the laughter died down and we lay down on the ground next to each other.

There were a few moments of silence before I decided to break it. “No, we Jedis do sleep. We live on adrenaline but I just couldn’t sleep.”

“Why?”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened in the lightsabre battle. The image just wont leave my mind.”

Padme sighed, “That is just part of the grief. It will pass in time.”

I turned my head and watched as she stared at the early morning sky. “I know but I just can’t help thinking that I could have stopped it happening.”

She turned to face him. “Stop it?”

I felt the tears well up in my eyes and I knew I should have stopped talking but I couldn’t help it. Her eyes looked so soft and concerned that I could not help but give in. “I was not quick enough. If I had been faster on my reflexes, I would not have been separated from Qui-Gon and he might still be alive today. I failed him as a Jedi.”

And then the tears came falling uncontrollably down my face. I closed my eyes and covered my damp face with my hands. This was the first time I had ever cried in my life. Not even when Qui-Gon had died in my arms, I did not cry. I just held him for an eternity. I felt ashamed. Jedis were supposed to control their emotions and yet here I was, crying my heart out. In that moment, I did not feel worthy enough to be a Jedi Knight.

Suddenly, I felt two soft hands take hold of my wrists and take my hands away from my face. Like a child, I tried to pull my wrists away but she had a strong grip for a girl of her age. She pulled my hands away, released and cupped my face into her hands.

“Look at me, Obi-Wan.” She pleaded. When I refused, she pleaded again, “Please look at me.”

I eventually opened my eyes and stared into hers. My eyes were blurry with tears but I still could see that kind face with her sad brown eyes looking at me. She started to stroke my left cheek with her hand and never stopped looking at me.

“Obi, you have not failed at all. You did not do wrong. You killed the man who was after me and I could have been ended up being forced to sign a treaty that would have brought pain and suffering to my people. You did not just save me. You saved my people.” She paused, stroking my cheek softer. “As for Qui-Gon, you did not fail him either. He died as he lived- a noble Jedi Knight. You did not cause his death so don’t ever blame yourself, my love.”

Her voice was so soft and angelic, much softer than her gentle touch. I cannot deny that I was becoming aroused from her touch. I was so aroused that I did not take in what she had last said. It was a minute later when I realised.

“What did you call me?” I asked her gently.

She smiled. “I called you my love. Obi, I know I am young and we have not known each other for long but I think I’m in love with you.”

I took her hand away from my face and began to kiss it gently. I could not believe it. She had fallen for me in the same way I had fallen with her. I began to stroke her long brown hair and wrapped my other arm around her. I drew her closer to me until my bulging erection was pressed against her. As I stroked her hair, I gently kissed her on the lips. She wrapped her arms around me and we became so close, it was as if we were stuck together.

I rolled her over so she was lying on the ground and her slender silky nightgown-clad body was enveloped in my Jedi robes. Our kiss was innocent until she began to open her mouth, opening mine as well. I licked her lips before entering my tongue into her mouth. I could hear her moan gently and I could feel the temperature begin to rise in my robes, especially in my trousers.

We eventually parted when we heard footsteps echoing in the palace. As I stroked her face, I whispered, “Is that what you wanted?”

She breathed her answer, “Yes. I want you.”

I wanted her too but her morality made me change my mind. “We can’t. Not now. You’re too young and innocent.”

She stared me with disappointment but she eventually nodded. “I understand.”

I kissed her on the forehead and lifted myself off her. I held out my hand and she took it as she stood up. I walked her back to her quarters. As we entered her room, she kissed me on the cheek.

“Remember what I said, Obi. You are not to blame.”

I smiled and nodded in acknowledgement and closed the door. I continued to walk down the corridor until I reached my quarters and closed the door behind me.

When I was in complete solitude, I began to strip myself of my Jedi robes until I could feel the heat of the room beating down on my naked body. I sat down at the edge of my bed and stared at myself in the mirror. My erection was large and weeping for attention. I trailed my fingers up and down my erection and around the end, wiping away the pre-cum. After I could not take it anymore, I took myself in hand and began to slowly move my hand up and down. Seeing my reflection pleasuring itself aroused me more and my movements quickened as my muscles tensed up. I closed my eyes and I visualised myself kissing and holding Padme in the garden- her face, her eyes, her gentle touch as our lips touched.

It was enough. I felt my body quiver and I cried out in ecstasy. My muscles relaxed and I lay back onto the bed as I felt my hand become wet and sticky. I don’t know how long I remained on my bed but I was enjoying something I had never felt before. This was not the first time I had masturbated but it was the best orgasm I had ever experienced but then again, I had never thought of a female as I did it. But then again, as I said before, I found Padme to be special.

Later on, as my ship left Naboo and carried Anakin and I to Coruscant, I still could not sleep. However, it was not because of the loss of Qui-Gon but rather over the fact I was leaving without Padme. Before I left the ship, I had promised I would return to her. I had no idea when but I promised I would come back to her.

And I knew in my heart, it would be a promise well-kept.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the events of Obi-Wan's romance with Padme, starting from the night of the Naboo celebrations.

2 - Reunion

It took eight years but I kept my promise. I always do. I had wanted to see her sooner but assignment after assignment came along and when I was not on an assignment, I was training Anakin and the wait might have been longer. Jedi training is incredibly time consuming and is exhausting physically and mentally.

Although I never got to see her or kiss her, I still kept in contact with her. The first time was about a week after our first kiss. I felt like a shy little boy. I had no idea if she still felt for me but surprisingly she did. I communicated her through my faithful droid, R4. We talked for hours whilst Anakin was asleep. And it was from there, it continued for years. Our long talks or sometimes we would just spend staring at each other, wanting each other. I truly believed that after a few months, she would become bored but she never did.

I knew it was wrong to keep it a secret but I had to think of Anakin. It took him several years to get over losing his mother and I knew that he had fallen for Padme in the same way I did. To find out that his master was in love with her and she with me would have probably done some emotional damage and I was worried about his emotions enough. He was very exceptional in his training but he was aggressive in his movement, more aggressive than I had ever been, I dread to think what he would do.

Our second physical meeting came by chance. She had told me a week earlier that she had just been elected Senator of Naboo and was moving to Coruscant to be closer to her duties. Ironically, at the time, Anakin and I had completed another mission and were heading back to Coruscant anyway. We had been on many assignments and we were allowed a few weeks for rest time. This was a perfect opportunity.

As we landed in the spaceport, Anakin immediately left saying he was going to see the Supreme Councillor. I worried for that boy sometimes- everytime we came to Coruscant, he would go straight to Palpatine for advice. I don’t know kind of advice he could give Anakin but I had a feeling that it was affecting his training a little.

Anyway, Padme had told me where her quarters were so I went in the opposite directions that Anakin went and went to the woman I loved. Although we had talked a few days before, I was really nervous. Our communication devices were slightly faulty and our reception was not always good. I kept wondering: what if seeing me changed her mind of her feelings? What if after eight years of waiting, she was heavily disappointed?

I walked over to her quarters and hesitated at the door. Eventually I knocked and waited. A few seconds later, the door opened and there she was. Her body had become fuller and her face had matured but her eyes and angelic aura around her had not changed. As soon as she saw me, her eyes lit up and she cried “Obi” and wrapped her arms around me. I smiled and hugged her as tight as I could, not wanting to let her go.

Eventually we parted and she led me into her quarters. As soon as the door was closed, she took my face into her hands and kissed me. She kissed me hard and attempted to push her tongue into my mouth. I opened my mouth and pressed my tongue against hers before inserting it into her mouth. We both held onto to the back of each other’s heads, wanting to be joined forever.

The kiss finally ended, with the both of us nearly out of breath. When we had recovered, she looked up and I said, “I missed you.”

She wrapped her hands around my neck and smiled. “Yes. I could tell.”

I held her around her waist. “It’s been so long.”

She nodded, “Too long.”

I could not help but smile inanely. Holding her In my arms, it felt we had only been apart for a day. The feeling was there and our first kiss had not been a mistake. I had become aroused from the kiss and her touch. However, I was not going to force her into anything she was not comfortable with or ready for.

She smiled, “What are you smiling for?”

“You”, I replied, “Because I had no idea what meeting you again would be like and I did not want to be taking this risk for nothing.”

“What risk?”

“I’m breaking an important Jedi rule- that I’m not allowed to love the way I love you. I don’t understand why but it is forbidden by the Council.”

“Well, was it worth it?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

I kissed her again and it was more loving than the last. I drew her closer until she could feel my erection against her. I felt it was wrong the last time I had held her like this, all those years ago, but this time it felt right. I wanted her and if she wanted me, I would not decline this time.

I felt her hands release my neck and gently slide down my robe until she came to my erection. She gently grabbed it through my clothing and squeezed. I ended the kiss with a gasp.

With her hand still on my erection, she stood on her tiptoes and whispered in my ear, “I can see that you’re still as turned on as you were eight years ago.” I looked at her in shock and she continued, “Yes, I felt you pulsing through my nightdress all those years ago and I wanted you. And yet you were so noble that morning- I respect you for that. But I’m not a child anymore, Obi and I still want you. And I can tell that you want me. So I’m asking you to make love to me.”

I did not need anymore persuasion. I picked her up- she was so light and she wrapped her legs around my waist. I carried her over to her bed and laid her gently on her soft covers. I kissed her gently on the lips and then kissed her on her cheeks and her forehead. I swept her hair from her shoulder and began to kiss and lick her neck. As she moaned, I undid the front of her dress and cupped a bare breast. I squeezed it and began to kiss and lick her nipple. Her moans became louder and her nipple hardened under my tongue.

She shivered under me and I could feel her fear. I stopped and looked at her face. “What’s wrong?” I asked with concern.

“Nothing. It’s just I’m a little scared. This is my first time.”

I stroked her face and soothed, “It’s okay. I’ll admit that this is my first time too. If I ever hurt you or if you want me to stop, please say so and I will. I’d die before hurting you. Do you want me to stop?”

She whispered, “No.”

I stood up and leaned over her, removing her dress and let it drop to the ground. I bent down and removed her shoes. I then stood up and removed my robes whilst admiring her body which was naked except for a pair of knickers that covered her virginity. She was more beautiful than I could ever have imagined.

As I stood there, naked in front of her, she knelt down and began to touch me. Her slender fingers moved up and down my member and she kissed the tip and licked away the pre-cum. I felt myself become harder. I closed my eyes and moaned. I felt her place a finger inside my erection and I moaned louder. I could hear Padme giggle underneath me and I could tell she was enjoying torturing me sexually.

As I was getting used to the pleasure, she stopped and sat back on the bed, raising her arms to me. I entered her arms and I piled on top of her, my hot erection on her soft stomach. I kissed her neck again and travelled slowly past her breasts and placed my tongue in her navel. I secretly smiled as she shivered underneath me. I kissed further down her body and slowly removed her knickers. I lifted her up and placed her body full on the bed before climbing back onto her.

I slowly placed my legs between hers, spreading them as far apart as I could. I kissed her neck and slowly placed the tip of my erection inside her. She gasped in pain but I continued. I slowly inserted myself inside her until we were joined. I did not move as I wanted her body to grow accustomed to me. I felt my erection pulse inside her wet entrance and she cried for me not to tease her anymore.

I start slowly, fondling her body in many places. She touches me as well, moving one finger down my spine before moving down to my bottom cheeks. She grabbed them and began to thrust me harder into her. As our movements begin to quicken, she starts to thrust her hips in time to my movements. Our breath began to quicken and I could hear my heart beat to my thrusting.

At the last, she inserted her finger inside my bottom and this was enough. I heard myself and Padme cry with joy and I felt myself shiver as I climaxed inside her. I did not remove my member form her immediately as she still held onto my bottom cheeks and she kept me firmly inside her. I was steady for a moment but then my arms gave way and I collapsed on top of her. She was as hot and sweaty as I was and I could fee her quick heartbeat on my chest.

As we recovered from our orgasm, she released my bottom and I carefully withdrew myself from her and lay next to her in a sweaty heap. She turned and laid her head on my chest and began to stroke my chest.

She whispered, “That was wonderful.”

I replied “Yes it was.”

She turned to me, “So, I will ask you again. Was it worth breaking the Jedi Code?”

I told her truthfully, “Yes”.

She wrapped her right arm around my chest and began to kiss my nipple gently. I turned around and held her, with her face buried in my chest. I thought about her question and I wondered why Jedis were not allowed to fall in love the way I have with Padme. I have been following the Code all my life and yet this is the one I did not understand. I don’t know whether it had been the love-making or whether it had been long and tiring days for us both but the worries of the Jedi Code became irrelevant as I fell asleep in her arms.

Over the next few weeks, I saw Padme whenever I could and each time, our love-making became more exciting. We experimented so much but I did not just want her for the sex. In those few weeks, I finally realised that I had truly fallen in love with her- that she was not just fascination in my mind. This was real.

However, those few weeks were our last happy time together. Everything changed two years later...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the events of Obi-Wan's romance with Padme, starting from the night of the Naboo celebrations.

3 - A Precious Moment

I’ll never forget my last night with her before the dark times, before she married. And it was the most dangerous time of all, not just for us but for the galaxy. The next day we would be torn apart and everything would begin to change, not just for us but for the entire galaxy.

It all began normally enough. I remember Anakin and I were in the lift and Anakin was so tense and nervous. I told him to relax but I felt like I was being hypocritical. After all, it had been two years since I had last seen her and I was nervous, not just because she was the one I loved but also because Anakin would be seeing her for the first time in ten years. Would the situation change between Padme and I? Would she find the tall boy beside me more handsome and would the love we had for each other vanish?

I also worried for Anakin as well. He had become very headstrong over the last few years and he was determined to show that he was ready for the Jedi Knight trials. I, for one did not agree. Although he had tried to control his anger, sometimes it was impossible. Emotionally, he was still a child, unsure in what he truly wanted. I should know- I went through the same ordeal with Qui-Gon but looking back, I liked to believe that I was in more control than Anakin was.

Anyway she acknowledged how Anakin had grown and I just had to roll my eyes when he said how more beautiful she had become. I could see it in her eyes when we shook hands. She smiled a little but her eyes immediately sparkled when she saw me. And I knew then that she still loved me.

That night, after the case with the bounty hunter had ended and all that was left was a dart pierced in the corpse’s neck. We returned to Padme’s apartment but all was quiet so we both assumed that she had fallen asleep. We both climbed into the beds provided for us and tried to sleep. Anakin was exhausted due to the dreams he had been having recently. I waited though until I was sure he had slept into unconsciousness.

I know what you are thinking. I know it was a risk but in my eyes, it was a risk worth taking. After having suffered two assassination attempts, Coruscant would be a dangerous place for Padme to be in and, no matter how much she declined and no matter how important she was to the Military Creation Act vote, she would be taken away and I had no idea when I would be alone with her again. Yes, it was a risk but one worth taking if I got a chance to tell her how I truly felt.

I crept up to Padme’s room and silently opened the door. Bathed in moonlight which streamed through her window, she looked asleep but the door shut too loudly than I would have liked. She stirred for a moment and then opened her eyes. She sat up straight, staring my shadowed body, her face encased in fear. She quickly turned on the bedside lamp and her expression turned to relief as she saw me.

Reaching out her arms to me, she whispered, “Obi-Wan.”

I walked over to her and entered into her arms and held her as tight as I could. “Are you hurt, Padme?”

She looked up at me and said “No. Obi, I thought something had happened to you. I thought you’d been hurt or….. or….” Tears welled up in her eyes.

She collapsed against my chest and I stroked her hair as I soothed and clamed her. “No. I’m okay. You are important now. That was a dangerous stunt you pulled earlier.”

She looked at me again, “What are you talking about?”

“Asking for your cameras to be turned off. What if we had not been Jedi? You might have been killed.”

“Obi-Wan, I never suggested to do that. It was Anakin. He persuaded me to do it.”

I couldn’t believe it. Anakin had lied to me. I could feel fury flow through my body but I controlled it. I had to. I could not show anger, not tonight. Tonight must be special for I knew she would be taken away tomorrow and I may not be the one allowed to protect one.

I held her tighter and I soothed her, controlling my rage towards Anakin. He took a serious risk which could have led to Padme’s death, something which could have an effect on the galaxy for if she died, the Military Creation Act would be created and it could lead to a full-scale war, something that should be avoided at all costs. However, I felt that my rage went deeper than that, something more personal. I later realised that it was not just the fate of the galaxy that was part of my rage. It was also the fact that if she had died tonight, I would have lost the one thing I loved. The one thing that meant as much to me than the Jedi Order. Maybe it was selfish for me to be angry at Anakin because I nearly lost the woman I loved but like I said, I was in love and well, love can make you do and think the craziest things.

I took Padme’s face in his hands and saw the tears falling from those beautiful brown eyes. As I wiped away her tears gently from her cheeks, I whispered, “Its okay. I’m here and nothing will harm you again tonight, I promise.” And then I kissed her gently on the lips.

After the kiss, Padme smiled. She looked so beautiful when she smiled. She leaned towards my face and kissed me. It was so different from the gentle kiss I gave her. It was as passionate as the one we had before we both first made love to each other. She wrapped her arms around my waist and drew me in closer until our bodies were touching and I knew she could feel my erection against her. When we parted, I was on top of her, her arms still around my waist. I don’t remember how I got into this position but both of us didn’t seem to care.

I pulled down one of the straps of her nightgown and kissed her soft white shoulder. As I pulled the strap further down her arm, I kissed down her body until I came to her exposed right breast. I kissed the nipple gently and she gasped from the sensations. She tried to move as I kissed her nipple again but I held her arms down and began to tease her. I flicked my tongue onto her nipple and she writhed with excitement.

I kept licking and sucking my nipple until she was moaning. I took the other strap of her nightgown and pulled it down her arm. With the other strap in my arm, I pulled her night gown, exposing her other breast and her navel. I kept pulling it off until it was at her ankles. I then pulled the nightgown away from her feet and threw it to the floor. I caressed and placed butterfly kisses on her legs until I reached her knickers. Slowly I pulled her underwear until it was on the floor.

I moved towards her mouth and kissed her fully and passionately, forcing my tongue into her mouth. Her tongue reacted with mine and they flicked together as I caressed the side of her body. I kissed and licked her neck, moving my tongue up and down her body until I reached her sex. With my head between her legs, I started to lick her clitoris. She gasped and moaned louder. I teased her, making short, quick strokes of the tongue. At the last, I placed two fingers inside her and she almost screamed with passion.

“Shhhhh” I said, “We don’t want to wake up the whole building, do we? What would everyone think if they could see you now? The serious Senator moaning in passion?”

“And what would they think of you? The serene and noble Knight teasing and pleasuring the serious Senator?”

I chuckled and then continued licking and sucking her clitoris as well as driving my two fingers in and out of her. She began to writhe on the bed and moan louder in passion. With one last long gentle lick on her clitoris, she screamed and came all over my fingers. I watched as she relaxed from her orgasm and I undressed as I saw her breathe in and out. Soon I was on top of her again, my hot erection against her mild sweaty body.

I kissed her again on the lips again and again whilst cupping one of her breasts, teasing the nipple with my fingers.

“I cant take anymore, Obi” Padme gasped, “Take me now….. please”

I took my erection in one hand and guided it gently inside her. I moved slowly in and out of her, touching her everywhere- her face, her breasts, her arms. As I move quicker inside her, I cupped one breast and tease the nipple with my tongue before grazing it with my teeth. I have never done this before and this excites and pleasures her. She stretched her legs as wide as he could with them slightly in the air. I spread my legs to keep hers spread and I am able to go deeper. I pinned her wrists to the bed so she cannot move. I went deeper and faster and she moaned, saying she wants more and I gave her more.

At the last, I climaxed inside her. My body went limp and collapsed onto her sweaty body. I released her wrists and he wrapped her arms around my sweaty back and we held each other. I cant remember how long we held each other but I didn’t care. I was enjoying the moment of being with her, loving her.

Soon we were under the covers in her bed and she was falling asleep on my arms. I stroked her hair as she fell asleep and I said to her, “I love you.”

She looked up and smiled, “I love you too.”

She fell asleep before I did. I didn’t care. She was beautiful while she was asleep. I stroked her hair and her naked body. She was in a deep sleep for my caresses never woke up. I tried not to think about the next day, about what would happen to her. I didn’t want to think about her being taken away from me or worse, killed. So I watched her all night long until the sun began to rise. I eased out of bed, not disturbing her sleep. I grabbed my robes and walked quietly to the door and opened it. Before leaving, I looked upon that sleeping form before shutting the door and returned to my own sleeping chambers.

That was the last time we ever made love.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the events of Obi-Wan's romance with Padme, starting from the night of the Naboo celebrations.

4 - The Final Kiss Goodbye

My fears were confirmed the next day. As Anakin and I stood before the Jedi Council with Yoda saying that I must investigate the whereabouts of the bounty hunter, I just knew what was going to happen next. It was evitable. Padme needed protection and if I was not ordered to give it, then the job would go to…..

I asked anyway “What about Senator Amidala? She will still need protecting.”

Yoda turned to gaze at Anakin and I immediately thought “Oh no”

“Handle that, your Padawan will.” Yoda said.

As my heart sank, I could feel Anakin’s heart leapt. I turned to face him and he had a serious look on his face which cleverly hid his approval. The rest of the meeting seemed to be a blur memory as I thought of the two of them together, on Naboo. Luckily for me, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Anakin bow and I bowed too, knowing it was time to go. When we left the Council, Anakin said he was going to see the Chancellor about Padme leaving the capital. I nodded and we went our separate ways.

As quickly as I could, I went towards Padme’s apartment and knocked on the door. I expected to see one of her handmaidens open the door but I saw Padme herself as the door opened.

“Obi,” she said as we hugged, “I missed you.”

I chuckled, “I have been away for a few hours.”

She winked, “I meant this morning. It would have been lovely to wake up seeing you in my bed.”

I whispered, “You know I couldn’t do that. No-one can ever know. It’s too dangerous. May I come in.”

She let me in and I sat down on her couch and she sat down next to me.

She asked, “So what takes you away from your Jedi duties?”

I said, “It’s about you. The Jedi Council has decided that you are to be taken away from the capital for your own safety.”

“What! I cant leave Coruscant now. The Act is too important. I’ve not spent so long working on the decline of this Act. I cant leave.”

“I know how difficult this situation is for you but it’s meant to be for your own protection.”

I could see her shaking with fury and I held her to comfort and calm her.

“Shhhh”, I said, “Anakin will look after you.”

“Anakin? What about you?”

“I’ve been assigned to look for the person behind the attempts on your life.”

It was then she began to cry, “I want you by me. I love you, Obi.”

“I love you too.” I kissed her on the top of her head.

We held each other for a long time, savouring the moment. We did not know when we would be in each other’s arms again. All I can say I’m glad I took the risk the previous night. It was unknown what was going to happen and I’m grateful I had a chance to show her how I felt about her and knowing she loved me in return as the best feeling in the world.

We look at each other in the eyes and kissed each other softly on the lips. The kiss seemed to last as long as the hug and it was just as beautiful. Suddenly we heard a knock on the door. Padme released her hold of me and opened the door. It was none other than Anakin.

“Hello, Anakin.”

“Hello, Master.”

I got up and walked to the door and moved against Anakin and Padme. I turned towards her and said, “I will take my leave now, m’lady.”

“Very well, Master Kenobi.”

I bowed slightly and moved down the corridor, trying not to think what could happen between the two of them on Naboo.

The time had come. Anakin and Padme were dressed in simple brown tunics to depict themselves as refugees. I just watched them from the shuttle exist as they prepared their leave. Padme was saying her goodbyes to her handmaiden, Dorme. I knew how close the two women were- they were almost like sisters so it was no surprise that there were tears. I almost felt a tear in my eye for I felt the same way as Dorme but I could not express my sorrow, not in front of her and certainly not in front of Anakin. He can be very suspicious and can pick up anything. I did not want him or Dorme or Captain Typho to suspect anything.

Anakin was trying to hide it but I knew he was smiling and this made me feel uncomfortable. The thought of the two of them together alone- it could lead to anything.

To keep things at bay and in control, I said to Anakin, “Stay on Naboo. Don’t attract attention. Don’t do anything without checking me or the Council.”

“Yes Master” he answered obediently.

I turned to Padme, “I will get to the bottom of this plot quickly m’Lady.” I smiled and continued, “You’ll be back here in no time.”

She smiled back “I will be most grateful for your speed, Master Jedi”.

I knew that smile and I knew what she was feelings inside. She wanted to be back as soon as she could. What she said were not false words. That gave me hope that we would be together again.

In an almost bitter tone, Anakin said “Time to go.”

“I know” she said but she did not sound pleased at Anakin’s command and I chuckled inside. Although I felt uncomfortable at the thought of them being together, I knew their time together would be an interesting.

As they began to move, I said to Anakin, “May the Force be with you.”

Anakin said, “May the Force be with you, Master.” I knew he meant every word. Although we had our differences in the past, we were still close and make a great team. He was like the brother I never had.

As they walked off, I said “I hope he doesn’t try anything foolish.”

Typho said, “I’d be more concerned about her doing something than him.”

I hope so, I thought, I sure do hope so.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the events of Obi-Wan's romance with Padme, starting from the night of the Naboo celebrations.

5 - The Visions Of Betrayal

The days flew by after Anakin and Padme left. I didn’t think about her much- I couldn’t. Despite my angst, I had a job to do. I first went to my old friend Dex who told me about the sabre dart that had been taken out of the assassin. He confirmed it came through the planet Kamino. I have travelled the galaxy many times in my years as a Jedi apprentice and a Master and I have never heard of the place, let alone set foot there. I checked the archives but there was no sign of the planet. It was there staring at that screen that I had the first vision.

The screen slowly vanished and there they were, in front of me as clear as the nose on my face. She was out of her refugee and was wearing a gown. Oh, she was so beautiful with that free flowing dress and her hair piled up like that. I am embarrassed that I got a serious erection from seeing her like that. They were walking along a path by the lake and she was soon leaning on a balcony staring at the lake telling Anakin about how she used to swim to the island in the middle of the lake. I remembered hearing that story years ago in the few weeks we had together when we first made love.

In a way, I envied her for that. Although I’m proud to be a Jedi and would never give it up, I sometimes wondered what it would be like if I had never had the Force or if I had never been discovered with this gift and taken away from my planet. I do not even know what planet I was from and I wonder would my childhood been as simple, as fun and as innocent as it was if I had not been taken away from my family.

And it was there on that balcony that I saw it happen. He said something softly and started to stroke her arm. She turned and looked at him and then they kissed. My heart sank. I couldn’t believe it. Why was he kissing her? Or was she kissing him? Was she enjoying it? And then as quickly as it started, it stopped. She pulled away from him saying she wished she hadn’t thought of that and stared back into the lake. It was then the vision vanished and the screen shone back into my face. I didn’t notice. I was still taking in what had just happened. Was it real? Or was it a figment of my imagination or my own paranoia?

“Master Kenobi, can I help you?”

I immediately woke up from my daydream at the sound of Jocasta Nu. I stood up and said that I was trying to find the planet of Kamino. With a confused look on her face, she said she had never heard of the planet either but she still looked at the Archives without success. She sighed and said that I must have been given the wrong information. And with that, I took my leave.

Many say that Yoda is the wisest of all the Jedi and that youngsters have extraordinary minds. I truly underestimated this until I went to find Yoda to ask about him about the missing planet. I felt embarrassed being there for several reasons. One was that he chuckled when I said I couldn’t find Kamino. I know he was trying to make a joke out of it to show he has humour but I still felt a bit embarrassed. The other came when a youngling came up with the idea that the reason Kamino wasn’t there is that someone had in fact deleted it. It just seemed wrong that I did not figure out something a small child could.

But then again, this could be due to the fact that deep down in my mind, I could still Padme and Anakin kissing. But a more logical reason could be that children tend to be simpler in their answers whilst we adults tend to complicate the matter more than we should. If everyone had the mind of a child, the galaxy wouldn’t be in such a political mess.

Anyway, it was on the way to find the missing planet that I had the second vision. Like with the first vision, the environment around me faded out and then I could see Anakin and Padme by a fireplace. They were talking but for some reason, I felt that there was a tense atmosphere around them. Maybe it was my paranoia taking over my rationality but I believed that the vision was real, as was the first one. It just seemed to be too realistic to be a figment of my own imagination.

I felt anger and fury as I saw Anakin move towards Padme. He was getting too close for my liking. She kept moving away from him but he kept moving closer to her. I felt lover’s jealously seeing him getting so close to her. As he spoke, I could not believe the words I was hearing but I shouldn’t really have been surprised. I felt that he loved her as much as I did and the more he talked, the more she seemed to refuse. Suddenly, the vision went as quickly as the first one did and the stars and the planets came back into view around me as clear as they were before the vision.

The stars flew past me but I did not notice. All I kept thinking about was the visions I had been having. Why was I having them? Were they meant to mean anything? My fears were slowly growing that something was going to happen between them and not even the fact she was trying to avoid him didn’t make a difference. I should have been happy because it meant she loved me more than him but I knew the look on her face all too well.

It happened two years ago, during my break from missions. Padme was free from her Senator duties as well so we spent the day together in her apartment. It was too dangerous for us to be outside together. Anyway, we were cuddling and kissing on her couch and then her door opened immediately. One of her handmaidens had arrived earlier than we had thought. As quick as a flash, we broken away from our hold from each other but it were too late- the handmaiden had seen us in each other’s arms. I could tell she is suspected something because she had a sly smile on her face and asked us what was going on.

Before I could think of what to say, Padme stepped in with an explanation. “I’ve been under so much stress with my duties, Dorme. Master Kenobi was simply comforting me.” She turned to face me. “Isn’t that Master?”

“Yes”, I quickly replied.

It was that look on her face that was so similar to that she displayed as she told Anakin that she couldn’t live a lie. It was the look of unease, as if she wanted to express her love to the whole of the galaxy but couldn’t because of duty.

This thought left me at unease.

Despite my uncertainty, she was the one that kept me sane as I was held in the force field being interrogated by Count Dooku. He was using one of my few weaknesses against me. To hear the name Qui Gon spoken by that traitor burnt a hole into me. To hear that he would have left the Council…… I know that Dooku was trying to play with my emotions to get me to join but still it hurt to hear my old Master being talked to in this way.

As I was suspended all alone in the force field, I prayed for her to be safe. What in the hell was she doing on Tatooine with him? Had Anakin’s dreams got the better of him and he went to search for his mother? I’ve known the feeling about dreams. Late at night, as I was dreaming of Padme, I urged to be with her even though I knew I couldn’t.

I could see her in my mind through the Force field. She was coming with me. She was urging Anakin that they need to save me but I could hear her voice in my head.

I’m coming for you, Obi. My love.

The fact that I heard the words “my love” soothed me to no end. She still loved me and the feeling was good.

The good feeling didn’t last long. It might have been the fact I was tied to a pole waiting to be fed to whatever vicious creatures my captors had in mind. Or it could be due to the fact that I saw the truth, not in a vision but in front of my own eyes.

They had been captured on their rescue mission and now they were near the entrance of the stadium, waiting to meet the same fate as me. I could see them in the dark and they were trying to reassure each other. And then I heard the words I had feared she would say to him:

“I love you. I truly deeply love you.”

And then they kissed. They parted as the light shone on them when the carriage moved but I saw them. My heart sank. I gave them the dirtiest look I could think of. It didn’t matter now. I knew it was over.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the events of Obi-Wan's romance with Padme, starting from the night of the Naboo celebrations.

Chapter 6- The Painful Truth

It was several weeks before I got to see her again privately. For several days, she and Anakin spent some time on Naboo, recovering their injuries. I tried not to think what the two of them would be doing but it happened. Ever since I saw the two of them kiss on Geonesis, I knew what the visions I had meant. Us- Padme and I were over. Maybe the visions were preparing me for the loss- I don’t know. All I knew was I wished I had believed them. Maybe the heartbreak would have been easier.

What I could not understand was why. I mean, a few days before I saw that kiss I had read her thoughts through the force field. She called me her love so why? Why this betrayal? I wanted to see her so much to find out why she had thrown away ten years of forbidden romance away for a young man she had been in company with for a few weeks. Was she in love with him all along?

One day, I got lucky. Anakin was off to see the Supreme Chancellor and I had no duties. I also knew that she had no duties for the day either so I went over to see her at her new apartment. Luckily she was alone so at least I could have a conversation with her without having to change my words around to cause less suspicion. I could be upfront with her and hopefully, she would be upfront with me.

She opened up the door and let me in without a word. For the first few minutes there was a tensed silence. I walked over to one of the large windows and simply stared out into the city, watching the traffic fly by. The silence was awful but what can you say? How can you begin to start on such a topic? The fact that after so long, after all the risks- not only is the love of your life with someone else but she did it behind your back without breaking up with you first, what can you say? How can you be civil to someone like that? Despite what she did, I still loved her and I wanted this to be as calm and mature as it could be.

Eventually, I turned and saw her. There she was, looking at me with a serious but sad expression on her face. She looked as if she wanted to cry. I want to go up to her and hold her but held myself back. I just couldn’t do it.

Padme started to speak, “Obi-Wan….”

I simply said one word, “Why?”

“Just let me explain. I never meant to hurt you.”

I chuckled sarcastically and looked out of the window.

Padme was not almost pleading. “It’s true. Its just….. I can’t leave him now.”

Still staring out of the window, “And yet after all we’ve been through, you could leave me….”

“Obi-Wan……”

“You leave me and what’s worse is that you had the nerve to cheat on me. I could understand if you had told me you stopped loving me. But no, I heard your thoughts while I was imprisoned. I heard you say, ‘I’m coming for you, Obi. My love.´ And then I saw you kiss Anakin. What are you playing at?”

“Obi-Wan, I love you. I never stopped loving you but I also love Anakin. He needs me. Something happened out when I was with him.”

“Like what? You mean that kiss on the balcony?”

“What? How did you….”

“I saw it in a vision. I saw you both on that balcony as well as the time Anakin confessed his love for you.” I pointed an accusing finger at her. Don’t try to deny it because I know.”

She sighed, “Yes that did happen but there’s something else. His mother died.”

I bowed my head slightly, “Oh. I‘m sorry. Anakin never told me.”

“He needed me to comfort him. I found myself falling in love with him. I couldn’t help it.”

I sighed and looked out of the window. I genuinely had no idea that his mother had died. For a second, I understood. After all, she had a good heart. She had done the same for me once….. Suddenly something came to mind. I stared at her again.

“You mean, like you comforted me?”

She looked confused, “What are you talking about?”

I turned around to face her and folded my arms. “Don’t you remember? The night we first kissed? You comforted me then because I was mourning the loss of Qui-Gon. You told me you were in love with me. Was that why you stayed with me? Afraid I was going to go insane with my grief?”

She was shocked, “What? NO! I was falling in love with you. Please, I still love you but like I said, he needs me.”

“I need you too. Why does he need you more? Because of her mother.”

“No. Its because it is what he can become if I didn’t stay with him. He did something, Obi.” Her eyes began to fill with tears. “Something terrible.”

My heart softened. I cant bear to see her cry. I rushed over to her and held her. She wrapped her arms around me and we got close.

“What happened, Padme?”

Through blubbering tears she managed to say “He found his mo-mo-mother dead and then he got angry and he kil-l-l-l he killed a whole colony of Tusken Raiders.” And with that she snuggled his head into my chest and cried her eyes out.

What could I do? How could I be cross with her when she was in this state? But what exactly was she upset about? Was it the fact Anakin had killed out of anger? Did she regret cheating on me? Was she sorry that she had fallen in love with Anakin? What could I do except hold her? It was while I was holding her that I saw the ring on her finger. I took her hand into my hand and saw the ring more closely. I had never seen it before and I know I certainly had not given it to her. It could mean….. no it couldn’t, could it?

“Padme.” I said, “Is this what I think it is?”

She looked up at me with tear filled eyes. “I’m so sorry, Obi.”

I let go of her hand and stepped away from the door. I didn’t know what to think. Did they not realise the risk they had taken? If Anakin was the Chosen One, then he could not afford to be taken away from the Jedi Order all because of love. And yet I felt more than that. After ten years of love, not only does she cheat on me, she gets married too. It does not take a Yoda to figure what was going on. I began to open the door,

“Obi, wait.”

I turned and stared at her.

“Obi, please try to understand. He needs me. But always remember that I love you with all my heart. I just cant be with you anymore. I’m sorry.”

At the sound of that, I felt my eyes fill with tears but they did not fall.

“I wish I could believe that, Padme. I really wish I could.” And with that, I was gone, listening to the sound of her sobbing fading away as I began to leave the love of my life.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the events of Obi-Wan's romance with Padme, starting from the night of the Naboo celebrations.

Chapter 7- Pause For Thought

Against my Jedi duties and loyalties, I never said a word to the Jedi Council about Anakin’s marriage to Padme. Although she never asked me not to do it, I couldn’t find it in my heart to do it. Heck, I didn’t tell anyone. If Anakin was the Chosen One, then he could not be thrown out of the Order if he was our only hope to bring balance to the Force.

Also, as time went by, I felt that maybe having Padme in his life might help him. I could sense anger inside him which had grown since his mother’s death. If her love for him could save him and maybe keep him under control, then maybe he would become a great Jedi and fulfil the Prophecy.

As I begun to accept the fact that Padme was not mine anymore, I began to move on and go back to what I was doing before Padme came into my life and get more acquainted with my fellow Jedis and have casual fun. After a few weeks, I felt that my heart was not into it. I thought it could be due to the fact that for the second time in my life, I had lost someone important in my life and I had no idea on how to deal with grief for loss. When I lost Qui-Gon, I felt more guilt than grief and with Padme, I did not have any need to mourn because I was in love.

One night several weeks after I heard about Padme’s marriage, as I tried to sleep, I found myself thinking about the good times, a time when we Jedi apprentices were more innocent and willing to have fun. Although I had told Padme all those years ago that she was my first lover, I wasn’t being entirely truthful. She was my first female lover but I had lost my virginity long ago to a male Jedi Master.

Before then, I had the occasional teenage romance with both female and male Jedis. I knew from an early age that I was bisexual and none of my past girlfriends and boyfriends had not minded that. After all, we were young- we experimented a lot. Although it wasn’t completely encouraged, it wasn’t discouraged either. As long as we were safe and no one got hurt, we were fine.

However, with the experimenting, I felt somewhat empty after about a year. I wanted something more than just kisses, cuddles, blowjobs and hand jobs. I felt there was something more to this but I could not figure out what that something was. I didn’t realise what it was until one night when I was 17.

It was that night I had caught my Master masturbating whilst calling my name. I didn’t know what to think, especially over the fact that I had become aroused from it. I was so confused. Surely my emptiness could not be filled by my own Master! And yet deep down, it seemed possible. After all, I did have feelings for Qui-Gon. It was common for Padawans to have crushes on their Masters. However, these feelings tend to have died out by the time the Padawan turned 16. And yet, seeing him there on his bed, masturbating and calling my name…. it had to mean something. And it certainly had to mean something when I became aroused from watching it. Was I a late bloomer and still suffering from a teenage crush on my Master? Or was I feeling something a little bit more?

Anyway we talked that night and that’s when it all came out. He was in love with me. Despite his harshness and stern manner during my training, he was in love with him. I should have been ashamed but to my surprise, I felt the same as he did. To hear him say that he loved me, it filled the emptiness I had been suffering. I thought to myself that I loved him and hearing the words in my head, it felt right. I told him that I loved him too and well let’s just say he never left my room that night.

Our relationship blossomed. We had our problems like all lovers do but the love never died. Even when we argued over Anakin, we still made up and we were making love that night. Our last night together was magical. After gazing at our final sunset together in Coruscant, we went to our apartment and we made love. We knew that Anakin would be with the Jedi Council for a while so we were in no rush to get back.

As I thought back to our last night together, I could not think that it was only a few days later that I had kissed Padme for the first time. I was angry that she had now betrayed me with Anakin but as I thought about it, I asked myself the question: Did I betray Qui-Gon’s memory by finding myself fall in love after a few days after his death? Did I fall in love with Padme because she filled the void that Qui-Gon’s death had left behind? She helped me take away my guilt that night and from that night on, nothing else mattered. Yes, it was hard at first, having to mature from being a Padawan into being a Jedi Master immediately (a move never used in the Jedi Council before. A Jedi Knight must focus on the maturities of the Force before they can feel ready to take on a Padawan of their own) but with my new tasks as well as the love of Padme, I never had time to grieve for Qui-Gon. Was that a bad thing to do to forget about him so soon? We had been a team for over 10 years and we had been lovers for 7 years. Did finding love so soon after his death make our relationship so unimportant?

For the first time in a long time, I felt tears falling down my face. In that moment, it was not Padme that I wanted. It was Qui-Gon that I wanted. I wanted to tell him I was sorry and to tell him that I loved him with all my heart and that while he was alive, he meant everything to me. I walked over to my drawers and pull out a Jedi cloak and wrapped it around me. As I lay down on my bed, I rubbed the cloak across my beard, smelling the familiar scent that had lain dormant in my mind for so long.

It was no ordinary Jedi cloak. It was the one that Qui-Gon had been wearing the day that he died. As his body was carried away after the battle, I saw his cloak as well as mine still lying down on the ground. I picked them up and kept them in a special place. I never wore that cloak again and this was the first time I had held Qui-Gon’s cloak since the day that he died. And now, as it was wrapped around me like a security blanket, the tears were falling fast down my face and old feelings came back to the surface. The grief of him dying, the shock of seeing him killed in front of my eyes and the guilt of not being able to save him. And now I had more negative feelings going around my head- losing Padme to my Padawan and also betraying Qui-Gon’s memory by falling in love with Padme so soon after his death.

The tears seemed to fall forever but eventually they subsided and it was in that moment, I understood. I finally understood why Jedis could not fall in love.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the events of Obi-Wan's romance with Padme, starting from the night of the Naboo celebrations.

Chapter 8- Anakin

The months passed and the months turned into years. The first few months were a changing experience for me. I was finally coming to terms with having lost love twice in my life and I began to become familiar with the hole in my heart and soul. I grew to respect the Code more, especially on the subject of love and emotional attachment. It took a long time but eventually my pain, grief and guilt turned from a feeling that was like a knife in the heart to a dull feeling. Eventually, the dull pain turned to nothing and I could now be on my own without letting the memories consume me.

Missions came and went, and with the Clone Wars having started, there were a lot of missions. At first it hurt when I heard that Padme could be nearby Anakin and I but like I said, soon enough I was able to see her simply as an ally and not as a love interest.

When I was not training Anakin or on a mission with him, I would spend my time in complete solitude. It was somewhat of a comfort. I would spend most of the time meditating, focusing myself on whatever might lie ahead. That’s how I was able to come to terms with Padme and Qui-Gon.

Two years after Anakin and Padme were married, there came the day which would fill every Jedi’s Master’s heart with joy: the day Anakin was knighted as a Jedi. I should have been overjoyed but I wasn’t. I was cautious. For one thing, he never went through the traditional final trials that are needed before one can be knighted. Maybe this sounds as hypocritical for I did not go through the traditional trials. However, I was told that my duel with Darth Maul could be constituted as my trials, which I passed.

I was also weary on how Anakin was changing. He was proving to be a hero of the Clone Wars and an excellent pilot and Jedi. However, it was his unorthodox methods that were troubling and he was finding it difficult to follow the Jedi Code. He was being reckless with his powers and was only winning his battles by giving into his dark urges.

The boy also had a lot of fear in him. He always had ever since he had left his mother behind all those years ago but since his mother’s death, he was getting worse. A lot worse. He had fear over everyone around him, even R2D2. He was finding it hard to control and I think that had something to do with his downfall.

So, no I wasn’t overjoyed over Anakin’s Knighthood. I did smile though and pretended to be overjoyed but that was only because I had been promoted to Jedi Master that same year and was put on the Jedi Council. I felt I had achieved something Qui-Gon didn’t.

I had a feeling that things were going to get worse though. A lot worse. But yet I still stayed with him.

Years ago, I decided that once Anakin was Knighted, I would leave him be. I am going to be honest now. In the beginning, I didn’t like him very much. I felt that Qui-Gon was too reckless in wanting him to be trained bit when he died, he made me promise to train him and so I did. I did it just for Qui-Gon. But with Anakin no longer a padawan, I felt I had fulfilled my promise and could move on. He reminded me too much of Padme.

But, things had changed. I felt that in some strange ways, I had grown to like him. Maybe even love him as a brother. And maybe he felt the same way. We had become allies. And with this changing mood I could sense in him, I feel that he needed all the allies he could get to stop him from turning to the dark. In some strange way, he needed me. I was finally beginning to understand what Padme meant by when he said that he needed her. He needed her to love and she thought that her love for him could keep him from the Dark Side. I think, within time, she needed him too. I believe she did fall in love with him. I don’t want to know whether she loved him more than me, I just don’t. All I know is she loved him and I did begin to accept that.

So I kept by his side. We went on missions together as equals and we both were earning the respect of Heroes of the Clone Wars. He was far more adored by me but I didn’t care. He had a much bigger ego than me so he needed it more.

Then everything changed. There came a time when I couldn’t save him. Not even Padme’s love could save him and I knew then he could never come back from his darkness.

And it all started when the Chancellor was kidnapped...


End file.
